Baby B Makes His Debut! (... and lives are changed forever!)

On Tuesday, April 14 at 12:01 am, my good friend Stacy had a beautiful baby boy. Marco Barilotti was born at 6 pounds 12 ounces and 19 and a half inches.

I feel such happiness for Stacy and Artie and yet so removed from their lives right now at over 3000 miles away. But this is a nice example of why I'm moving home - this stuff matters to me. It really does. And in exchange for missing Stacy's pregnancy announcement, her baby shower and the actual birth of Marco, I'm going to get to know him for the rest of his life.

However, there's another side of this story, and it's quite sobering - my friends are having babies and that must mean it's time to grow-up. It's official, right? We can't be the same care-free, fun and wild girls we once were with babies in tow, can we?

Like Jerry McGuire said, it's all part of the 'things we think and do not say.' When Stacy announced she was pregnant, we were all overcome with joy. It was truly amazing to realize that our girl was having a little one of her own. But at the same time, the inevitable 'other' thoughts came rushing through our heads ... Will we still get to see her as much as we used to? Can we meet for drinks on a whim? How will this affect girls nights and/or weekends away?

Selfish, I know. But really just selfish because we love our friendship so much, and the way we've been together for years on end. In fact, whether she admitted it or not (and sometimes she did), I know she felt the same way. After all, the way she told us she was prego was, 'I'm pregnant! But I'm going to be COMPLETELY fine for Cindy's bachelorette party and wedding, and you bitches better not stop calling me!'

Over the weeks and months Marco grew in her belly, we never did lose touch and we talked about everything - baby and beyond. It was nice.

But the week before she gave birth, she made a crucial mistake. She watched an episode of Oprah that talked about the secret society of motherhood and once again those dreaded 'things we think and do not say - mommy version.'

The cast of 'In the Motherhood' was featured and they discussed how you may be ready for a baby, but you may not be ready for how your life takes a back seat and your baby's is up front and center. Yes, you know that's what's going to happen and you completely agree, it should! But it's the little things that may catch you off-guard.

The specific example Cheryl Heines used on the show was when her best girlfriend went through a very difficult divorce, and she couldn't be there. After all, she had the baby and it wasn't fair to be 'half there' emotionally or pretend to be there, when she really wasn't. Her child had her full attention now. Had she been single or without responsibility, she would have rushed over to sit with her girlfriend every minute of the day, and now she just couldn't ... and it bothered her. It bothered her a lot.

Stacy got upset about that episode and truth be told, it probably wasn't the best choice of shows 7 days before she delivered. But still, it made us think, and talk, and think some more. Does it really have to be that way?

After much thought, and consult with girlfriends from Cali to Jersey, I think the answer is, WHO KNOWS? We're all new at this! And we don't really know what the future has in store for us or our friendships.

But what we do know is that in life, we have been loyal and dedicated to each other so far. We're excited for each other's successes and we're sorry for each other's sadness. And though we may grow up, get married and start families, it's important to keep a part of ourselves focused on who we are an why we became friends in the first place. And that's because, generally, we're all awesome women.

Yes, we'll have play dates and story time (and we'll love every minute of it), but we'll still need a Sex and the City night once in a while and a cocktail after a long day. And now, we'll SHARE some of our girls nights. Not with everyone, all the time ... but let's face it, Marco's cool. ;)